New beginnings, life changes, a New Year.

A friend of mine was recently remarried, and approached the event with some powerful mixed emotions: fear, excitement, anxiety, anticipation, joy, apprehension-- you get the picture.
Anyone who has been divorced can tell you that marriage is a frightening proposition, and it was certainly true for me. But it is also one of life’s turning points, and it changes your path, creates opportunities and opens new doors to the future. Reflecting on my changing life circumstances always leads me to further recognize how many opportunities for new beginnings there are, if we pay attention. Marriage, school graduations, landmark birthdays, moving to a new house, and changing jobs are obvious opportunities to break bad habits and meet new challenges.
Less obvious opportunities, like new growth after a forest fire, seem to emerge from the ashes of a death in the family, a divorce, or a natural disaster. I have heard from clients in my practice how some wonderful changes have developed from a failure, a lost relationship, or an illness. I once met a woman who had lost her two children in a boating accident. Out of her grief came a dedication to raising foster children, who in turn had given her many years of joy.
Apart from the growth that occurs with healing from a tragedy, and the obvious opportunity that comes with a marriage, New Year’s Day, or graduation from high school or college, there are less clearly defined chances for new beginnings. Planting a garden every spring is a chance to do things differently, to cultivate new techniques. It is possible to make a commitment to change every Sunday morning, whether you go to church or not. It is possible to use the sunrise on a cold winter day as an occasion for reflection on new personal goals, and the steps to achieve them.
Some of the greatest opportunities for starting over can be found in the details of everyday life. Whenever I remember that I am contributing to the beauty in my life (and easing the concerns of my neighbors), I enjoy mowing the lawn. One of my friends witnessed one of my other friends throwing a golf club in frustration one day. He asked what would one of the patients on a cancer ward think about the importance of a golf shot, and provided all of us with the opportunity for a new perspective.
It doesn’t have to take a near death experience or a wedding to inspire us to change. Just stop. Take a deep breath. Take a mindful look around and contemplate the possibilities.